Self-Esteem and Your First Date
Recent studies indicate that how we approach another person to initiate a first date is highly indicative of personal self-esteem. Everyone knows that when a person feels good about themselves, they act differently than when they feel embarrassed or ashamed. Interestingly enough, this trend has enormous implications on dating behavior.
Among other things, singles with a healthy self-esteem consider themselves to have intrinsic worth. Therefore, when they ask for a first date, they are much more inclined to be direct about the fact that they want to go on a date. Most singles would not approach a prospective first date in the pajamas they've been wearing for a week. That said, people with healthy self-esteem will add just a little bit extra to make themselves look more attractive, but not so much that they appear overbearing.
How worthy we feel also affects how we behave on our first dating excursion. Men and women are both more inclined to discuss future goals and family plans if they are secure in their personal self worth. Others may be direct about what they want in terms of the immediate relationship, including sexual intimacy. While some researchers may consider escalation of certain dating topics too much for a first date, they acknowledge that each relationship has its own dynamics.
Unfortunately, someone trying to pretend they have a positive self-esteem can easily appear overbearing or boorish to hide what they are lacking inside. This can create a number of communication and relationship problems that result in the other person becoming offended. On the other hand, someone that feels intimidated, or starts out with a poor self-esteem may easily decide to share as little as possible about themselves, and thus also create an unintended negative impression.
Without a question, finding that perfect mate to share your life with is very important. Feelings of personal shortcomings have many ramifications in terms of who we choose to ask for a date, how we ask, and what we do on the first date. From the moment we meet another single, we send an overwhelming number of signals that communicate how we feel about ourselves, and how we are likely to behave within relationships.
Posted at 3:57 PM on Nov 4, 2007 By 5StarDating.com
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