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The Rules For Dating Dutch

Oh how time flies. Whoever thought that being out of the dating loop for just a couple of years will leave you as flabbergasted as your mother was when she spots her kinky neighbors making out on their porch. It's not only the means of meeting other singles that have changed (with online matchmaking sites proliferating all over the Web) but also the means of getting to know each other more, through dating.

The setup of most modern dates has become so different, that members of the "frailer" gender (i.e. women) are now expected to pay on their own. But if you're out with a new date, feeling or judging from your date's looks (or wallet size) will not necessarily reflect his or her dating views.

But the 21st century's dating logic is very simple. Whether you're a man or a woman, bringing enough cash has become a necessity. And just how much is "enough"? That would mean slightly different things depending on your gender. For men, "enough" cash would cover the car's oil to and fro, the restaurant bill, movie tickets, several good snacks, some coffee and an extra for emergency purposes. (You never know when your gorgeous date might want to bring home a Venti or two for her parents.) For women, it's safest to carry enough cash to pay for the bill (even your date's), and maybe for a cab ride going home, in case your date's car breaks down.

Always remember that norms are ever-changing. Dating rules vary over time and are different for each region. The scene, in which a man picks up the woman, opens the door, pulls her chair out for her, pays for the bills, delivers her home safely, and then waits courteously for a kiss at the door, is not what you find in modern day dating.

Besides, feminists would argue, women today often have their own jobs and money, and can pay the bills, too. But feminist or not, you surely will feel better having brought cash and yet having a date who insists on paying everything. But as a recent article shares: It's better not to expect and be surprised (nicely) by a gallant date.

Posted at 1:31 PM on Aug 21, 2007 By

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