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Divorces are usually traumatic experiences, irrespective of the reasons why the marriage broke up in the first place. It is never easy or pleasant getting over a divorce and come Valentine's Day coping with singlehood becomes even more difficult. It is an exercise in irony, watching all those couple in love expressing their romantic sentiments for each other. Instead of making you all happy and mushy, it fills you with resentment, jealousy, anger and a painful longing for someone that you can love.

But as a recent article points out, there is no shame in being divorced and single on Valentine's Day. After all, an end to any marriage was a well-considered decision, not taken in a day. There is every reason to celebrate the exit out of a bad marriage, just as there is to celebrate love between existing couples.

If you have been recently divorced just before Valentine's Day, however, things might be extra tricky for you if you are one dating partner short of a date. On the day dedicated to love, you could soothe yourself by booking into a spa or by having an evening purging out all the bad memories of the past relationship, having a cleansing aromatic bath, and maybe even discarding or destroying all the mementos of your erstwhile marriage.

If you really want to stay home alone, make sure you have some good movies, have ordered some excellent take out, or have the ingredients to whip yourself an easy-to-make gourmet meal. Traveling, taking a trip somewhere on your own or with another unattached, caring friend could also be a good idea. This would really help you get away from it all.

If some time has passed after your last relationship and the bitterness of it has seeped out of your system a little, you can try throwing a party for your single friends, or going out somewhere with them for the Valentine's night. By this time you no longer seethe at the sight of happy couples, so it is safe to let yourself loose on society. Visiting a friend, family or relatives could also rest your single spirit on this festive day.

If you have been without a partner for quite a while now and feel ready to meet someone else again, Valentine's day might be the perfect day to book yourself for a single's speed dating event or try internet dating. You never know who you might meet, and since you are at an emotional equilibrium by this time, the 14th of February could be the right date to mark a whole new beginning in your life.

Posted at 1:21 PM on Feb 22, 2008 By

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